Seoulit was,
all too easy,
forgetting your name,
tasting the starlight tucked
behind someone else's
wisdom teeth ;
our soju-laced smiles
crashing at 90mph
and the memory of you
caught
in the headlights and
wreckage of us,
our 2am laughter
echoing in your bones
from 5654 miles away ;
my hands knowing
the age-old roads
that led to brand new places,
and the faded map of you
folded and kept hastily
in my back pocket.
(I was far too proud
to ask for directions
to come home)
chaos theoryI soaked your butterflies in vodka,
and buried them alive.
I planted yellow daisies in the 20-proof dirt
and waited for the sunshine
to make us all
golden.
Sometimes when the winds are angry where you are,
I think of your butterflies and wonder
if we're all still fighting to get out.
If they ever named a hurricane after me
I would call you up just to say
I told you so.
things you should've told me.1. You're going to be okay., a longer version of
2. I haven't forgiven myself yet, but I'm getting there.
3. You can't make homes out of people. You can't make poems out of them, either.
4. Whatever you want to believe, you should know you made me happy.
5. You were always beautiful, even though I never said it aloud.
6. Writing about you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
7. Tucked between my lungs is a memory of the day you first smiled at me.
8. It's funny when you realise that I'm an atheist, and goodbye used to mean God be with ye.
9. I don't know the words for the way I felt when you first called me handsome.
10. Sometimes I started fights just to see if I could make you leave.
11. I stopped loving you somewhere in between the third drink and the fourth.
12. I went home that night and I couldn't remember your face.
13. I never read your letters - it would have been too sad.
14. Boys should be allowed to cry in public, too.
15. I wasn't built to handle forevers.
16. I can't listen
couragethe day I realised, and of course, the title work,
I may never taste your mouth again,
I threw myself
into the first cigarette I could find,
sputtering through the smoke
and greedily inhaling my death wish.
today, my hands smell like nicotine
and lighter fluid ;
and I wonder, if you were aching
would you still let them hold you?
courage
isn’t always sacrifice -
sometimes it’s just alcohol,
or far too much loneliness,
or far too little.
I could have loved you forever,
if you’d been brave enough to let me.
Polaris is Dead.windbound,) as well as a bunch of brand-new, completely unpublished (and probably will never be dA-published) poems! It's not free, but then good art rarely is (and I need to make a living somehow, too). Plus, Leanpub has this nifty feature where it shows you how much I earn, and lets you decide (with a built-in minimum) how much you want to pay for the book. So if you're feeling generous, you can drag that slider all the way to 10! I haven't been super active lately (big surprise) but I've been dealing with school as well as working on some new poems because I figured I needed to gain some traction and write a new book as soon as I could. I'm also in the middle of figuring out the plot of a graphic novel that I want to write and illustrate myself, so that's taking up a considerable amount of time (partially because I also need to learn to draw for shit). All in all, very hectic schedule, but please understand that I do care very much about the art on here and the support you all have shown over the years. The link to the book is over here leanpub.com/polarisisdead . So please go show it some love, and even if you can't buy it, or aren't sure if you want to buy it, it would really mean so much to me if you could talk about it and try to gain it some attention! Every little bit helps. Thanks so much again, you all are lovely. Also, I used far too many parentheses in this journal, whoops.
we were caught and cornered,
keelsons crushed
underneath the weight
of rocks and hard places
and hurricanes
that tore us all but
apart -
in this and every maelstrom
we were just waiting
to crumble,
holding hands like they were
lifelines
and locking palms in prayer ;
we knew an introduction
to the edge of our little world was
inevitable,
and said our goodbyes
every time the ocean's belly
swelled with Neptune's angry squall,
our mouths filled with salt and
all the breathlessness that came
with keeping a weather eye
on that horizon.
you were the light of my life -
every smile a star
and every star a sentinel,
keeping us from keeling over
or charting courses
hellward bound ;
polaris,
that angel stern,
casting starshine
on every map and
on every midnight journey,
and making sure
we always knew
which way was north,
or a new world,
or danger,
or home.
but darling,
the storms got the best of us,
our little ship stricken
from bow to stern,
from mizzenmast to bowline,
ev
How long have you been on DeviantArt? - Around 5 years or so!
What does your username mean? - You know those gummy worms from Trolli? I love those. I could eat 'em all day. UwU
Describe yourself in three words. - Passionate. Loyal. Moody.
Are you left or right handed? - I'm right-handed!
What was your first deviation? - Oh, lord no. I don't even remember. Actually, I do. I think it was a song or rhyming poem of some kind and I know I used ellipsis and I am so glad that I've come so far and my soul cringes too much to talk about it any more. *shudder*
What is your favourite type of art to create? - Literature that speaks from the heart.
If you could instantly master a different art style, what would it be? - OH MY GOD WATERCOLOR PAINTING. YES. ALL THE WATERCOLORS. YES.
What was your first favourite? - This one! I still love it.
What type of art do you tend to favourite the most? - Literature, because I spend most of my time visiting literature-filled galleries.
Who is your all-time favourite deviant artist? - My best friend, lizilicious UwU
If you could meet anyone on DeviantArt in person, who would it be? - Everyone who's followed me from my first year and continued to support me. I love you all, always.
How has a fellow deviant impacted your life? - A lot of people have given me quite constructive comments on what techniques I should use or given me suggestions to lovely works of art that have made my heart grow. dA always continues to inspire and impact my life, and therefore my art.
What are your preferred tools to create art? - Pen and ink! Or, screen and keyboard.
What is the most inspirational place for you to create art? - My bedroom, in the dead of the night. With a nutella sandwich on a saucer beside me and Coldplay blasting into my ears.
What is your favourite DeviantArt memory? - The first time I ever got a Daily Deviation. It was for Up and Apart I wasn't even expecting it, I swear. I was so happy and so shocked and so grateful. I still am. I will always be. Thank you for everything, deviantArt!